5 New Year’s Resolutions for the Magical Black Girl In Your Life

Yo. It’s 2017. How in the heck did we get here?

“By living, Diane,” you’ll probably say. In which I’d respond, “Shut up, smart-ass.”

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A gentleman walks into the towels section of my department store.

Me: Do you need help with anything?

Him: Yes, what are your plushiest towels and do you have a way to measure the plushiness?

Me: (starts to laugh then stops when I realize he’s not joking) …unfortunately we don’t have the technology to measure towel plushiness yet, sir…

And off to that magical place I go again. Have a great day!