I can’t even take the idea of New Year’s resolutions seriously because I never keep to mine. I think I even stopped making them like 5 years ago, but you know what? I’m approaching 30 and the games have got to stop. I’ve got to become more srs bsns. And I should start by doing a couple of things
A gentleman walks into the towels section of my department store.
Me: Do you need help with anything?
Him: Yes, what are your plushiest towels and do you have a way to measure the plushiness?
Me: (starts to laugh then stops when I realize he’s not joking) …unfortunately we don’t have the technology to measure towel plushiness yet, sir…
And off to that magical place I go again. Have a great day!
Everyone’s favorite Uncle Tom, Don Lemon tweeted this the other day:
And the internet had questions. Ones they’re still asking. And will continue asking until someone has an acceptable reason for the murders of unarmed, innocent and young black people. (The answer is there is no acceptable reason, in case you were wondering.)
Christmas is here and the joyous and merry people are nowhere to be found. Where they at though? And can they come to my store because everyone else seems to suck all the light from my life. On the daily.
Well, you know, in the way that cutting someone off on the road is right and letting your dog jump on little kids while taking a walk is right. He’s right in the way that he actually isn’t, he’s incredibly wrong and ignorant and I’m about tired of people like him, Ben Carson, and Don Lemon existing and using their power (or access to public microphones) to make comments on the Black community as if they were appointed by us and for us. Stop it.